One month (31 days)

That's how long until my wedding. I must admit, that for a several years, I really felt as though marriage was not something that was going to happen in my future. The epilepsy was a significant part of that.
Would I ever get my seizures fully under control?
If so, would someone want to be with me when I could fall back into the deep end of the epileptic swimming pool at a moment's notice?
If not, wouldn't being with an epileptic scare women away?
Would I need to look for dating prospects at epilepsy support groups? Find someone who was going through what I was and could/would understand and deal with it?

As silly as that may sound, it was my thought pattern for quite a while. It took the support of family and friends to come to grips with the fact that everyone has their issues; everyone has their hang-ups.

And so I put myself out there. I went looking for dates wherever I could find them. Friends of friends. The bar. And finally online. Everyone said I should give online dating a try. It was what everyone was doing these days. So I tried eHarmony, 8 Minute Dating, Plenty of Fish... eHarmony was the best, but that wasn't saying much. It really flopped, despite my trying for well over a year and a half. So I gave up on online dating, until somehow I would up hearing about match.com and gave it a whirl. Within a month, I was kickin butt!

One particular week, I had two first dates and one second date! The 1st first date was on a Tuesday, and we went to grab a bite and see a movie. We both agreed that there was simply no chemistry. Oh well! no harm, no foul! Then I had a first date on Friday, and a second date on Saturday. The girl I was going on the second date with seemed pretty cool, and I was looking forward to seeing a movie and grabbing some food with her afterwards. The girl I had a first date with on Friday... was Mary.

Now you can call me cheesy, trite, or even cliche, but all I know is that I was TOTALLY smitten with Mary from day one. To the extent that the next day, when I had that second date with another woman, well... let's just say I turned into a total cad... I met her at the movie theatre, and we went in to watch a movie. I was a little reserved, and after the movie when she asked if I wanted to go grab a bite, I pulled the old "well you know, I'm not really feeling good... I think I'm gonna head home... but I'll call you later!" And I never did.

It's one of those things of which I am NOT proud, but ALL I could think about that entire time at the movie was Mary. I had NO interest in this woman. It was about Mary. Maybe it was that she laughed at my jokes. Maybe it was that she told jokes as dirty as mine. Maybe it was our mutual love of thai (and other) food. Whatever it was, I knew that I was going to focus all of my attention on Mary. I stopped responding to other people online who found me, and never did searches of my own.

I cannot even begin to describe how much I love this woman, and how thrilled I am that in 31 days she will walk down the aisle to me, exchange vows, let me put a ring on her finger, kiss her, and have announced to the world that she is my wife, for now and forever. I had figured out during my tenure of online dating that there were women out there for whom the fact that I had epilepsy was quite simply not an issue. Mary is one such. She takes amazing care of me after I have a seizure. Makes sure I have water, my medicine, food, whatever I need. And invariably when she comes home from work, I will be gifted with a Nestle's Chocolate Milk. That is love. :-)

So what is the point I am trying to make? It goes back to my silliness of thinking that the person with whom I would fall in love with and who would fall in love with me would, for even a second, think that epilepsy defines me. It doesn't. Mary knows this. She loves me for who I am, as I do her. She loves me for everything that is a part of me, and I am greater than the sum of my parts. And Mary is greater than that. And I love her for it. And I can't wait until 31 days from now when I will get to tell the whole world (or at least those family and friends who will be there with us)!

Greg